How to Take Your Power Back After Being a Victim
I have been a victim — in some ways I believe we all have. A victim to someone’s lies, victim to defeat, victim to pain, victim to circumstances, heartbreak, life. We are all victims at some point.
So where is the joy in being a victim? Is there joy? I think it depends on how we look at it.
For me, being a victim didn’t bring joy at first, either during the victimization or after. Over 30 years after being victimized, I was still a victim to that event. It still had a hold on me and it caused me pain.
I allowed things that happened in my past to bring me mentally to the place of victim. My thoughts filled with “This was done to me” and “I can’t get past this because…” I lived life as a victim and it brought me a great deal of sadness. It also served as a nice shield of protection.
There are costs and benefits to choosing into victimhood.
I believed deep down in my subconscious that if I was always a victim I didn’t have to face life head on and take any risks. By not taking risks, I stayed comfortable. By being comfortable, I was protected. By being protected, I stayed safe. By staying safe, I didn’t get hurt. But was that really true? Was I really that safe?
My experience of victimhood was pain, hurt and frustration. I couldn’t move forward, couldn’t love properly, feared even the smallest movement toward anything outside my wall of protection. Being a victim to my circumstances froze me in many areas of my life and I became closed off, cautious and fearful.
I didn’t realize it for a long time. Once I finally saw what I was doing I was so stuck in that place it was like crawling out of a dark hole I’d been living in for 35 years. To actually face the light and be responsible for my life was a scary thought.
One day I hesitantly climbed up and peeked out of the hole. Then one day I actually climbed out of the hole for a brief moment. Once I stayed out for longer periods of time, I realized it wasn’t so scary. Facing the fear took away it’s hold on me. I had power over things that I didn’t know I had. I could take responsibility. I could choose to lean in and not be so afraid of being a victim. In that decision, there was choice and that made me accountable. I wasn’t being held in a prison that I created myself and was free to explore areas where I could take my power back.
So where is the joy in being a victim? It is in being an overcomer! It is in moving from that place of being trapped by past circumstances or someone else’s behavior and beginning to understand the power of choice. We can choose into feeling different, we can choose to be fearless, we can choose our own personal experience of the outward experience. We can make a choice to live in that victimhood, forever afraid of what might hurt us, or we can take a leap of faith and find joy in knowing that we have power over our thoughts and our lives. We can’t control others, but we can control our thoughts. That realization alone brings joy!
Joy comes from choosing into it. We choose our reality. We can’t always choose our circumstances, however we can have power over the only thing we actually have control over — our thoughts. Choose into joy, choose into healing, choose into power. Make a choice to be happy and thankful that the circumstances that historically made you a victim, also brought you to this point. I choose that and when I step into those things I find joy. I can help people, give back, understand and empathize with others. There is joy in that! It’s a process, and we can all choose into it at any moment.
Be joyful today!